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You’ll love how it sounds then.’ The girl nodded her agreement and the woman was so happy inside to see that she was finally seeing some relaxed confidence in her almost-adopted daughter, as well as just a hint of mischievousness. It couldn’t have been there in Anneliese’s home because it could never grow there. ‘We could fight with the pillows,’ the girl smiled a little evilly for one so young, ‘They’re not big like at home.’ There was a slightly unsettling thing about that, the woman decided as she thought about it without replying. For just a little thing – just a little girl slowly nearing her sixth birthday, that little kid – when she was squealing and having a ball – could move through blankets and covers like a weasel and she’d discovered that her new mother was extremely ticklish. When it had happened, the two of them playing like that, there was the … lack of sophistication that one could expect from somebody that young and her tickles could be closer to pokes then, but. I’ve also had some heart-to-heart talks with my parents and a friend.”“You’ve changed, Mike.”“For better or worse?”“I don’t know.”“I’m lost,” I sighed. “I don’t know what I have to do. You keep putting hurdles in front of me. Just when I think I’ve cleared the last one, another one appears. I KNOW I’m afraid of sex and that I avoid confrontation. I’m working on those two things, as well as others. But what are YOU afraid of, Jos?”She was quiet for a minute, which seemed like an hour.“Of losing you,” she said softly.“So you push me away?” I asked gently. “How does THAT make any sense?”“Because if I blow it, I lose not just a lover, but my best friend in the entire world.”“So you keep me at arm’s length, but you want to make love?” I asked.Jocelyn started crying, which was NOT something I would have expected from her. She was always the strong one, and now she wasn’t. I didn’t know if it was her injuries, the accident itself, me, our having made love, her, or, most likely some.
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